Oh my life is getting boring again. It used to be fun dating around and trying to find the right person but now I guess I'm close to finding the right one. Maybe...I'm actually thinking about being single again. Taking it really slow with the Asian or dropping it completely. Is that a horrible idea when he could be the possible one? Ehh probably. I just can't put my finger on it but I feel like there could be someone else out there...someone that likes hockey, spongebob, action movies and Law and Order SVU. I mean really? Is that too much to ask? All I get from the Asian is the action movies part...boo. But then again should we have our differences to make a good couple.
Ahhh yes this is why the title today is confusion...I'm going crazy and being irrational, why? Why do you think a girl is irrational only a week out of a month? Exactly. I'm not even making sense to myself. I'm just a mess as always but now I'm just thinking that maybe I need to test out the waters for a longer amount of time. Or it could be that the Asian is out of town and I have nothing to do. I don't know. All I know is that I don't know if I'm truly happy with my decision and with my life.
I think the biggest part is me not being happy with my life. I need a job and I can't get one. I'm so discouraged. Companies don't like to see that a kid fresh out of college can't keep a stable job in a year...or even two jobs...geez. What to do? I don't know...I can only collect unemployment for so long...and I guess back to retail? I could try to be a manager at a store in the mall or something but I would hate the hours. I'm thinking secretary or assistant would work? What a mess...all I want to do is be a mechanical engineer and there is nothing out there for me, or no one that needs me. UGH! Oh well enough of this complaining and being sad for myself....lunch then pool time and hopefully some trivia tonight to cheer me up!
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