Wow! ... September 17, 2010

Can you believe how long it's been?! Wow-za! The last time I was on here I was headed to LA. Well turns out at the beginning of my wonderful trip I got an offer for a new job! And guess what?! I'm here now :) Its great and I love it all. I might not be an engineer but I would rather be an administrative assistant any day. Hahah.

What else... I am happily in a relationship with my Asian. A few ups and downs but nothing drastic...just caring about each other so much and missing each other all the time. We're falling in love. Who knows...we could be engaged within a few years :)

The roommate has moved out and I'm looking for a replacement....anyone interested?

It's kinda lonely by myself but thank goodness I have a job now. It keeps me occupied most of the day then when I come home...I clean, walk my pup, eat and sleep. Barely any time to do anything else....I'm hoping to put working out in there somewhere...Just doesn't seem like I ever have enough time.

Well back to work...I guess I should really change my description of the blog...I now have a job, boyfriend and not really going through a crisis anymore....Hmmmm..

Nothing too new....August 13, 2010

Well it's Friday the 13th...what will today bring us? I hope no bad luck. The week has flown by...I haven't done much but lay around and watch movies, apply for jobs, eat and sleep. I made egg rolls for the Asian one night and he cooked me some Pho another. It was delicious. This is our first weekend together and I'll be spending it with him at his house...all weekend. Yes there will be an over night bag... :) We're going to the art museum tomorrow morning, sushi for lunch, maybe some shopping and then dinner with his intern. Tonight I think we'll just relax and go watch a movie. It's nice having someone to hang out with. Before all I did was sit at home with my boyfriend and watch movies and do nothing. My dilemma now is what to do about my pup. My roommate refuses for me to take him with me for the whole weekend but he won't be home tomorrow to watch the little guy. So what to do...bring him with me tonight for the whole weekend, leave him and come get him tomorrow night or just punch my roommate in the mouth. Oh my options... I'll figure it out I guess.

Great news! I have a trip to LA planned. Tickets booked and ready to go! My grandpa's really sick and my dad really wants me to visit since he always mentions me. I love my grandpa...he's always been so kind to me...not to any of my other cousins though. Oh well...I get to see my cousins and uncles and go shopping with my mom! How exciting. Kind of a mini vacation.

Well that's all I got...guess I'll keep you posted on my wonderful weekend with my Asian :)

Success!?....August 9, 2010

I would have to say it was another successful float trip! Lots of drinking...and drama...what drama you might ask? Well where should I start? Friday was fun driving down to the float...it took forever but two good friends in the car made the long trip bearable. Once we got down there it was the start to drinking. Everyone was there including some of my old students and some friends from college. We drank until who knows when. I shared a tent with my buddy thinking nothing of it but of course what does he do? Tell me he likes me and asks why I don't like him...should I have just told him to read my blog? Haha..no. I guess what went through my mind was that I didn't want to lose a good friend and hurt anyone's feelings...so what did I do you ask? Beat around the bush basically. I thought he understood that I didn't want him as a boyfriend and just wanted to be friends....again we were drunk so I don't think he got the memo. So the start of drama...caused by me :)

Oh but there's more...so the float trip was starting in a few hours since I tried to tell my friend all night that I wasn't interested. So the float starts and we're ready to go. What did I decide was a good idea to bring on the float...Absolut Vodka for shots...yep...just plain vodka...bad idea. So we drink and drink and every time we stopped on the sandbar I sang "Shots Shots Shots" so the girls did shots. Fun until I decided to get emotional because some jerk said I was dumb. Yep don't call an engineer dumb...just cause your fake boobed girl friend is an idiot and no one likes her doesn't mean the rest of the girls on the trip are. Stupid balding douche. NO ONE LIKES YOU not even in your own fraternity! Alright sorry I never got to punch him on the trip, had to get that out. So to sum it up...I lost a pair of sunglasses, my tank top, 2 lighters, 2 packs of cigarettes, whatever was in 3 dry bags (and the dry bags), a cooler with food, clothes and beers...but it was still a success right?! HAHAH.

The ride back was also superb. We picked up one of the fraternity boys since his ride left the night before but somehow they left his wallet and phone in someone else's car but didn't remember to mention it to anyone. Awesome. Good thing a lot of us stopped my Jack in the Box that morning so we all worked together to get this kids stuff back. Well I felt horrible to the tacos and potato wedges were not having it in my stomach...no worries though there were no pit stops for throwing up on the trip. We left the camp around 8 and I didn't get home until 3:30....it should only be a 4 hour trip....yes it was uncomfortable because me and my girlfriend had to sit in the back on only one seat since we packed 4 peoples things in the car...including 4 coolers. We got lost too since for some reason the driver decided to not listen to his navigation. Yikes! Its ok we all made it home safe and sound.

I then managed to relax for a few hours then I had to go pick up the Asian at his friend's house and drive him home. His friend lives 10 minutes away from my house so it wasn't a big deal, plus I hadn't seen him in a whole week so I had to see him last night. Ahh I met his Asian brother last night too...he's a short man, ha. We had Chinese food because we were too lazy to do anything else and then off to bed. It was a short and sweet visit but great to see him. And that is the conclusion to my weekend. Now off to get things done...maybe..

How to lose a guy over texts...August 5, 2010

Oh it's possible to lose a guy or two over texts and I'm sure I pushed a lot of buttons last night. People's buttons...not the phone buttons... Ha anyways... after having a wonderful day of cleaning, cooking a steak dinner and then proceeding to drink the whole bottle of wine...this is when the texting went wrong. So of course what do I do after I start drinking wine?....get on facebook to chat with people. I usually try to catch one of my bi-curious friends on there to talk to because he's a riot. He has many interesting stories that crack me up and I told him his life is way more interesting and should be in a blog but ehh I don't think he'll do it. Oh well. Anyways back to what was happening...so during facebook chatting I was also thinking that I should text an old friend and also text the asian...oh and the texting wars begun.

My old friend is actually someone I was dating before the Asian...old buddy from high school...very sweet guy and well we started talking and hitting it off and considered the whole dating thing...didn't hear from him in a few days and then met the Asian...sooo it was basically history...right? No I have to bring it up like an asshole. I asked him via text..."Thought we were gonna try the dating thing out" and he was more confused then anything....of course why wouldn't you be...it's like a blast from the past...by the end of this mess he said "call or text when you're in the mood for dating?" exact words with punctuation...what? And that was it...I texted back but no reply...weird. He probably fell asleep.

So what did I mess up with the Asian...probably everything. He's on vacation right now and warned me that he probably wouldn't have much time to talk...yep what do I do? Get irrational, emotional and crazy. Awesome...who wants to date the Crasian! Anyways he was trying to be so sweet with the "I miss you, don't worry we'll see each other soon" blah blah oh no I guess something clicked in my head and I was like lets just cut things off. So I texted "yeah...this might not work out. I'll just cut it off now. Good luck with everything. It was good while it lasted. Have fun." hmmm PSYCHO! What is wrong with me. I mean he didn't even do anything wrong. He even told me exactly what he was doing...yep I hate being a girl...oh and then he was still so sweet he was like "I can't believe you said that" and then "well I hope you have a good night, I will for sure call you tomorrow"....ugh what a nice person. I suck.

So now comes the waiting game...who's gonna call me today and will my old friend really want to try the dating thing? Oh no, I've stirred up a good pot of "I'm gonna get my ass in trouble"....until next time...float trip this weekend! I'll try posted tomorrow but no promises...if not tomorrow, Monday!

Confusion...August 3, 2010

Oh my life is getting boring again. It used to be fun dating around and trying to find the right person but now I guess I'm close to finding the right one. Maybe...I'm actually thinking about being single again. Taking it really slow with the Asian or dropping it completely. Is that a horrible idea when he could be the possible one? Ehh probably. I just can't put my finger on it but I feel like there could be someone else out there...someone that likes hockey, spongebob, action movies and Law and Order SVU. I mean really? Is that too much to ask? All I get from the Asian is the action movies part...boo. But then again should we have our differences to make a good couple.

Ahhh yes this is why the title today is confusion...I'm going crazy and being irrational, why? Why do you think a girl is irrational only a week out of a month? Exactly. I'm not even making sense to myself. I'm just a mess as always but now I'm just thinking that maybe I need to test out the waters for a longer amount of time. Or it could be that the Asian is out of town and I have nothing to do. I don't know. All I know is that I don't know if I'm truly happy with my decision and with my life.

I think the biggest part is me not being happy with my life. I need a job and I can't get one. I'm so discouraged. Companies don't like to see that a kid fresh out of college can't keep a stable job in a year...or even two jobs...geez. What to do? I don't know...I can only collect unemployment for so long...and I guess back to retail? I could try to be a manager at a store in the mall or something but I would hate the hours. I'm thinking secretary or assistant would work? What a mess...all I want to do is be a mechanical engineer and there is nothing out there for me, or no one that needs me. UGH! Oh well enough of this complaining and being sad for myself....lunch then pool time and hopefully some trivia tonight to cheer me up!

Testing out the Waters...Don't judge me...July 28, 2010

Oh what an interesting Tuesday. I did my daily task of feeding my friend's cat then off to the pool. I laid around there for a few hours and then got to thinking...Is the Asian right for me? Well I received a text from an old friend and we decided what's the harm in grabbing a drink. Well lets say we had some history but I thought nothing of it. We talked and laughed and drank. Then, he asked me to go back to his place to watch the rest of the baseball game. It was still early so I said why not. Harmless right...well...I'll leave that up to everyone's imagination.

By the end of the night around 10:30 or so I was drunk and knew that I hadn't eaten...good thing I had a safety bag of cheezits in my purse. So I ate those and felt a lot better...I looked around and looked at my friend and smiled and said I can't sit here knowing that we both have people we care about somewhere else...so I left and the only thing I knew to do was to go see my Asian. I called him and told him I was headed up there. He was not happy with me but he still wanted me to come over. So I did and we stayed up all night talking. But then the talking lead to me telling him..."Get your penis off a pedistool" ...and lets just say that doesn't help anything...especially when I was drunk and he was sober. I guess I didn't run him off last night because he said tonight was my night...I guess we have a date. Hope I get flowers! Ha...probably not. Oh well.

Mondays...July 27, 2010

I now have a routine when I wake up at the boys house...I make his bed every morning. Is that weird? Ehh I thought it was nice. Well he had jury duty so no work for him but sitting and waiting at a court house. Well turns out he got rejected and was not going to be on the jury so we decided to hang out. Was it a good idea to ask him to come over? Ummm it was right around lunch time and I saw that my roommate did not take his lunch box to work...uh oh... so I frantically called the roomie and mentioned that I had people over. Yep he's very antisocial and hates to come home to a house with even one new person in it. Weird. So he decided to just go to T-Bell for lunch and I had the house to myself...kinda. I forgot that my neighbor was coming over to use my computer but she was leaving at 3 for work anyways.

So after a long while the Asian finally gets to my house. We sit around and eat lunch and try to decide what to do. So after my neighbor leaves we go to an outdoor mall and walk around. Then we were so parched we thought margaritas at 4:30 was a brilliant idea? After a pitcher of those we went back to my place and hung out by the pool for an hour or so and then went to dinner.

It was a great day of just hanging out, holding hands and getting to know each other more. Well after my all day drunkenness I decided to text him about something he said. He mentioned the word girlfriend and my name in one sentence. I blew it off at the time but once the alcohol hit I needed to know what that was all about. So he called and we talked about it. I guess he thinks its time we move to the next step and I told him NO...I told him it was too soon and I wasn't ready to jump into another relationship. He's also never had a long term relationship so I don't know. So I reassured him that we're still fine but I didn't want a label on it until I knew that everything was back to normal in my life, like not having my ex as a roommate. So that's that...I am still single and I'm just not sure about jumping into another relationship. What to do...what to do...

It's been a while...July 26, 2010

Gosh I haven't blogged in quite a while. What has happened since Wednesday of last week and now??? Well of course I've been with the Asian almost every other day...its been great. He's sweet and kind and probably perfect for me but am I having doubts, yes. Like one of my friends say I need to get over this whole Asian complex that I have. I can't help it though, I guess my biggest thing is if we look in a mirror and see ourselves we're friggin Asian...our friends have already said its weird cause we're "that Asian couple". I hate that. Its everything that I've always dreaded. It doesn't seem to bother him at all but it's driving me insane. We talk about it every day cause he knows it bothers me but for some reason I can go out in public with him and not think about it until someone says something. So what to do? No idea.

Ok ok so lets back up a little. I stayed home on Wednesday and then went to see him on Thursday last week...don't remember what we did but probably the usual...then Friday came and he was supposed to go out of town, but ended up coming home too late from work to actually drive the distance so we decided to go out. We met up with his friends first who seem super nice and then met up with mine who were completely trashed from a wedding they had gotten out of. And of course one of my best guy friends was there, he was not happy to see that I was with the Asian. Let's just say he's had a crush on me and there might have been a night of drunken make out, but I clearly told him that it wasn't going to work out and I just wanted to be friends. So I got the stank-eye all night from my guy friend and me and Asian went back to his house and the next morning we laid around until he really needed to leave for home. It was nice.

Saturday was hang over day. I guess I did have a little dance party the night before with my girl friend and drank a little too much. So I laid around all day until I felt the need to order 20 dollars worth of Chinese food just for me. Awesome! Ate my Chinese, drank some wine and watched 17 Again with Zac Efron. Then I proceeded to watch another movie...what did I pick...drum roll please....Kung Fu Panda! Hahah sawweeet!

Sunday was another movie, me and the roomie decided to catch the early showing of Inception in Imax. It was a very good movie! I would love to watch it again. After that I did laundry, sat around all day and then headed up north to the Asian's house. I watched another movie and off to bed. It was a good Sunday.

Things are going so fast....July 21, 2010

Oh what a night...Trivia with the group and we lost miserably. It was really fun though. I'm thinking it's a new weekly thing. I brought the boy with me but he new the girls so it wasn't awkward. After dinner and trivia I went back to his house since my car was there anyways. We had some wine and talked all night. Looks like we're hitting it off...he threw everything out on the table and told me he really liked me and wanted everything to be out in the open...hmmmm...

About that...

So what did I say...oh I let him know I had been dating two guys before him and I wasn't sure how those were going. He didn't seem too upset about it. And he told me he had a girl that he really cared about and they're best friends. I was a little confused since mine seemed to be a little more extreme. Now that I think I about it I probably should have told him that me and my roommate still share a bed. Awkward!

Oh and if you all don't know I will be losing my roommate on August 15. It will be a sad day and hopefully I'll have some potential jobs by then. Who knows...

So what now? Am I exclusive with the Asian or what? I have no idea...it seems so soon but we have the same feelings for each other. I guess I'll keep you all posted :)

The Crisis Begins....July 19, 2010

Where do I begin...Friday....The float trip ride took about 5 hours. It was a success! Lots of drinking and fun! I could have, maybe drunk made out with someone :) I have counted around 5 massive bruises and some soreness from strenuous lifting of coolers and getting tossed off the raft but no broken bones! Oh and I advice all of you that camping in 90+ degree weather is not so fun...so hot...a little miserable...

Sunday...another 5 hour long trip back home and then off on another date...yes the same person from Thursday. I went to his house after the trip and we watched a movie, snuggled and then went to dinner. AGAIN he didn't eat, but he was so sweet about going. He said he knew I was hungry so he wanted to go with me to get something. Sushi...he had a few and I made him try eel...he's a fan...soooo good! Yum! Then I headed home and we talked some more on facebook chat later that night. And here the crisis begins...

We talked and talked about silly stuff as always and then he wanted to come to my house so we can cook dinner sometime...well as my blog stated before my ex-boyfriend is still living with me. I guess I failed to mention this to him. So I broke the news...which of course was no good news and shocked him very much. He was very disappointed that I did not tell him before and is still unsure about the whole situation...he said this subject should be talked about in person. So what to do, what to do... I couldn't sleep and tossed and turned all night. I had to work this morning at 5am so I only had a few hours of sleep.

Work this morning was kind of fun. Folding jeans isn't what I always wanted to do, but a tedious task to keep me out of trouble.

I'm exhausted and just really wish I knew how the conversation about my living situation is going to work out. I'm sad that this might end because of my roommate but I can't kick him out on the street, however I will be moving the guest bed in tonight. I really want to continue seeing this guy and I hope he understands the situation I'm in.

No unemployment check in the mail from last week, looks like I do owe money on some taxes that somehow we filed wrong...sounds sketchy...I will be researching that later.

List of things to do today:
- Nap
- Laundry
- Clean House
- Cover Letter
- Move things out of the guest bedroom

Can't wait! :/

Oh the Date... July 16, 2010

So most of you may be wondering how my date went...it was good. How is a date supposed to go? I mean besides the fact that I got shit canned and couldn't drive home so slept at his house...I mean what else can you do right? WRONG what the heck is wrong with me? Good first impression, "Hey how are you, did I mention I just get drunk and try to sleep with you by the end of the night?" I guess I'll give you the deets from the beginning...

We went to a Mexican restaurant and he decided he wasn't going to eat and well I wasn't going to eat in front of him so I didn't get anything either. So 3 beers down there. Then we continue to a bar...and things got real....4 beers there...so I'm 7 beers down and pretending I could handle it. Not the case at all. I am wasted at this point and don't forget I didn't eat dinner.

I'm guessing he could see it in my eyes that I was smashed so he decided I was coming home with him. We went to his mansion of a house and proceeded into the bedroom and I honestly don't remember from there. Making out is a for sure but the rest of the time was a blur...

So this morning, oh this morning, he had to work at 7am and I was stranded. So his bright idea was to give me his car key and I drive his car to my car and then leave it there? Hmm how is he going to get his car now I don't know...but I got lost from his directions probably 5 times because he tells me South but says left but it was on the right? Yeah lost a lot! No worries, I'm safe at home now! I think that's about it.

Float trip this weekend and mac and cheese for lunch.....

The First Day - July 15, 2010

Well here goes it.... These blogs will be describing my daily life and adventures I go through now that I have my days free. Unemployment =FUNemployment for me, and I try to live it with great fun everyday. As I go you'll learn more about me, what I do and the people I hang around with. I will never use anyone's real name, so don't be worried.

So what's gone on already today... AN OIL CHANGE. Nothing very eventful sorry to say. However, tonight might get interesting....

I guess I should start out with my living situation. If you read the my little excerpt about my page you know that I have just recently gotten out of a five year relationship. Well this is basically the gist of it, I moved to a new city, bought a condo, my boyfriend (ex-bf) moved in and at this point he still lives with me and my dog. No worries it was a mutual break up. After college we just weren't happy anymore and found that we couldn't see us getting married.

So tonight...I have a date...well maybe...it could just be a friend thing...we'll just subtract that label. I'm going out with a guy for dinner and drinks. I've only seen him around and he's older, about 4 years, which isn't too bad. We've been talking through Facebook and I guess seeing what each other are really like tonight. I feel like it's Eharmony on crack or something....so strange how this all worked out. But I'm worried that we are too much alike. We are both engineers, went to the same university and are the same race. I've NEVER dated my own race. I never even planned on it. Oh lets just say I'm an Asian Female born and raised in the US. I grew up around a lot of ...white people...suburbs in the midwest, what can you expect? So I've always been attracted to white guys but I guess I'll give this a shot. Can't hurt right.

More fears about tonight: first date ever, don't really remember what he looks like in person (a little drunk the night I saw him), what to wear, where we're going, meeting him and what to say, if I'm going to get completely trashed because I get so nervous and start pounding drinks...this list of things could all leave my mind if I was prescribed Xanax!

If you're one of my friends following my blog you'll understand my humor and frustrations, if not bare with me and enjoy the ride...I wasn't an English major and didn't do well in that class either. It'll be a roller coaster of thoughts...what ever comes in my mind comes out to this blog in any order. Good luck and hopefully I'll post after the date....I might post again before it who knows!